I try and think of what to do. 

It seems pointless, ... this waiting.

I do not know and I am quite a bit confused with you.

Sometimes I think you need me and

Sometimes you seem to want to throw me away from your life.

I try to shade all those fearful and hopeless emotions.

The truth is I am losing this battle.

 I am losing myself again and I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that I will turn into my old self again without you.

I am afraid that all that I have done on everything will vanish.

I am afraid of how I will feel in the end.

 I am afraid of your silence. I am afraid of myself.

I am afraid that you will actually never love me again.

People never know what I am feel deep of my heart.

They do not know what it is to be here. To be me.

To feel this. If they have felt it,

Well... this is me, not them.

Im too tired of all this =(

                                                          Yesss. I really do feel so empty.